If you\u2019re like me and other survivors, once you\u2019ve returned home from hospital and life begins to settle down, you began to think about what happened to you. For most of us, our sudden cardiac arrests came out of nowhere: uninvited and unexpected. We came perilously close to not being alive and, for me at least, left with the feeling of having had no control over the arrest or its outcome. Once home and alone, I began to wonder \u201cWill it happen again?\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
On average, research indicates we have about 4,000 thoughts during the 16 hours or so that we\u2019re awake each day. While most of these thoughts are purposeful, such as \u201cI\u2019d better get moving or I\u2019ll miss the bus\u201d or \u201cWhere did I leave my coffee cup?\u201d, about 13% are spontaneous \u2013 they just seemingly spring out of nowhere. For me, thinking I might have another sudden cardiac arrest or, rather, I was going to have another sudden cardiac arrest became more than just one of those 520 spontaneous thoughts I had each day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes these thoughts were triggered, for example, by a premature ventricular contraction or \u201cmissed heartbeat\u201d (in most circumstances, a benign and normal occurrence) when I was running. More often, though, these thoughts seemed to pop out of nowhere, like the cardiac arrest itself. They were intrusive, unwanted and felt uncontrollable. Avoiding these thoughts, and what triggered them, became the strategy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Avoiding thoughts wasn\u2019t as easy as it sounded. It turns out that the more you try to suppress a thought, the more difficulty you\u2019ll have. It\u2019s a paradox. Let me explain. Under normal circumstances, we don\u2019t pay attention to many of the 520 or so spontaneous thoughts we have each day, otherwise we\u2019d be overwhelmed by trivial intrusions. The part of the brain controlling executive functions does a pretty good job of deciding what is, and isn\u2019t, important to attend to at any given moment. It filters out random spontaneous thoughts from our attention so that we can complete our current tasks. They come and go quickly. However, the act of suppressing a thought focuses and heightens attention on the suppressed thought, which is counterproductive. Now the brain\u2019s executive function is actively involved in paying attention to the thought I wanted to suppress. I\u2019ve engaged it in monitoring for the thought so that I can consciously suppress it. Thus, the paradox. More such thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Distracting thoughts can achieve the same paradoxical outcome. Trying to re-focus your thoughts on a pleasant experience can build a link or association between that memory and the thought you want to suppress. Eventually, being reminded of your wonderful vacation in Spain can bring up the \u201cI could have another sudden cardiac arrest\u201d thought. Suddenly the sunny Spanish vacation isn\u2019t such a pleasant memory; it\u2019s about fear, guilt and death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If suppressing the thought isn\u2019t effective, what is? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the keys is simply recognizing what\u2019s going on: you have a spontaneous thought and it provokes a negative emotion and you react. The thought, \u201cWhat if I had another sudden cardiac arrest\u201d, leads to feeling fearful and then the thought spiral of \u201cI could die\u201d and all the images and guilt that entails. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stop, recognize the cycle and accept it. You know the intrusive thought will spark the negative emotion and spiral of afterthoughts. Remind yourself, out loud or in your head, that you\u2019ve experienced this cycle before and may yet again. Don\u2019t dwell on it. Just accept that it is happening: \u201cOh, this again, but I\u2019m still here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In time, the power of the cycle will diminish and disappear, the less you fight it and the more you recognize and accept it. As time passes, you will gain experience and gather evidence that you\u2019re not going to die from another sudden cardiac arrest. After all, you\u2019re still alive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For me, running made this epiphany come sooner: I couldn\u2019t fathom walking all the way home after a \u201cmissed heartbeat\u201d scare, so I\u2019d stop for a bit, check my pulse and continue running. So, I continued running and didn\u2019t die. It\u2019s what psychologists call \u201cexposure\u201d therapy, in that I inadvertently exposed myself to an activity that might contribute (at least in my mind) to another cardiac arrest. The intrusive thoughts began to appear less often, and they lost their power over my emotions. I broke the cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If intrusive thoughts are compromising your day-to-day functioning and enjoyment, cognitive-behavioral therapy (or CBT) offers the potential for great relief. Find someone with experience using CBT for intrusive thoughts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If you\u2019re like me and other survivors, once you\u2019ve returned home from hospital and life begins to settle down, you began to think about what happened to you. For most of us, our sudden cardiac arrests came out of nowhere: uninvited and unexpected. We came perilously close to not being alive and, for me at … [Read more…]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"entry","1":"post","2":"publish","3":"author-ted","4":"post-211","6":"format-standard","7":"category-uncategorized"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=211"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":212,"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211\/revisions\/212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=211"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=211"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twospeedmousetrap.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=211"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}